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Most of the time when I come into my room the first thing I turn on after the light is my stereo/radio/or laptop music library....I'm not really into television unless there is something specific I want to see (cartoons, basketball, a good sitcom, etc...). Half the time I have to remember to turn my tv on. lol
Music is my salvation, it makes me smile and tells me stories I need to hear. This song by Outkast with CeeLo, Big Rube and Erykah Badu is on my top FIVE of favorite rap songs of all time (YES, OF ALL TIME).
Andre Benjamin wrote this, he must have been right inside my head when he penned these lyrics. Just to go through it a little, it starts...."There's a fine line between love and hate, you see, came way too late but baby I'm on it..."
Very true words. If you had told me a year ago, hell, three months ago that I would be at this point in my life/love/emotion, I would've been REALLY surprised. I would've said, "No, I don't think I'd turn back the clock like that." But, that's what I'm looking at/living with. I'm tight rope walking on that "fine line".....The spirituality of my being doesn't allow me to accept the word "hate" into my vocabulary. However, I'm not a "We Are The World" type of person where I "love" everyone. People I have "no love" for receive pity/sympathy/apathy. In my opinion, hate is an emotion that requires twice as much energy as love. So I don't have time for it. I have faith in the rules of the universe. The 360 degree rotation of the universe and it's beings/events/circumstances will eventually take care of each situation in it's due time.
www.prohiphop.com- Liberation
Without any help from me. I just have to wait patiently and govern myself accordingly. This is where I fall short sometimes. Oh well, I'm only human. With all the self-esteem/confidence/love of self I have, I still am not perfect and make mistakes. The key to those mistakes for me is that I learn from them and grow. God doesn't allow you another year of life to do the same things, the same ways you did in the previous year. Unless you did everything perfectly and made no mistakes.....but, if that were true, you would be God.
I'm often told that I'm "mean" I think mainly because of the directness of what I say more than that I'm actually an unfeeling/selfish/mean person. I don't answer to/accept/embrace any of those characteristics. I know the loving person that I am and so do those around me. One thing I know I'm not, something that can never be said of me is that I'm fake. I keep it 100 24/7/365. If you don't want to know the truth, ask someone else the question is my motto. That's where another verse comes up, "Can't worry 'bout what another nigga think, now see, that's liberation and baby I want it...." In my life now, the situations I'm in, as well as the situations that have been thrown at me. I decide the path I'm going to take to deal with my issues. I will listen to what others have to say, but ultimately, it's my life/happiness/well being as well as that of my children, that is first and foremost for me. No one knows what's best for me like me.
You would think once this new chapter of life opened for me I would keep moving forward instead of looking back. Well, sometimes when you see something from the past that had value, you have to dust it off and put it back in use. Sometimes it will work for a while & then break down again. Sometimes it will continue to work without a glitch.
Like CeeLo sings, "If I sacrifice every breath I breathe to make you believe. I'd give my life away..." Please always take me at my word? My word is my bond, I'm not a liar. I'm not selfish either. If I take the time to tell you how I feel/what I want, that's because I value you/us/WE enough to share that part of me with you. I'm a private person (that only child thing). So when I share anything, ESPECIALLY feelings....that is a HUGE deal.
"I'm so tired, so tired my feet feel like I've walked most of the road on my own........." For so long I've been independent, even when I was part of a "team". But, now I'm "liberated" to the point where I have to say "excuse me" to the person/people who are walking on the road with me because we're bumping into one another.
So what I'm on now is embracing this "Liberation" so I will just,"shake that load off...." and "keep my head to the sky......" Mainly because that's what the Queen in me has to do.
Damn, Andre 3000 hit REAL HARD with these lyrics!!!
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.
You can reach out to Raven at Authors@NGA-Radio.com or comment on this article.
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